Poo

After 5 days off of work, 3 of them home with a kid with loose bowels who doesn't always make it to the toilet in time, I need the sun! The new decor on the blog is my way of adding a touch of spring. At least now, when I'm feeling like poo, as I clean up poo, I can always go to the blog and see spring.

I took Booger to the Dr. today because along with bowel issues his eye is infected. I thought it may be pink eye so off we went. The Dr. felt it was a sinus infection so he is being treated with antibiotics which will not help his intestinal tract. This should make for a fun poo filled week. I loved the way he answered all of her questions, I think she got more than she bargained for. "Are you stools runny Booger?" his reply "Hmmm...Well sometimes they are like a water hose that stinks when it is shooting out of my bottom. Sometimes it's watery and lumpy. Can you tell me why may right bum cheek and scrotum are hurting? They feel really rashy." She learned very quickly to focus the questions at me. On the way out of the office the nurse gave him a token for the "prize machine". This is what he chose:



the next picture is of him several hours later vegging on the couch still wearing his prize.



I wonder if it will ever come off?

Thank goodness Duke has offered to take over tomorrow so I can escape back to the safety of my office! I've decided I am a creature of habit, change is not good.

The One and Only Booger

I love having two boys. I love that each of my boys is completely different. I think it makes things interesting and because they are so different they get along very well. It was just recently that they stopped sharing a bedroom. They are definitely best friends.



Booger is very even tempered most of the time. He doesn't get overly excited or extremely upset very often. Unlike his brother, he was a easy toddler. His attention could be held for long periods of time with toys, videos or whatever else he decided to study. He loves animals, especially dogs. This started when he was just able to crawl. He pretended he was a dog all day long. He would sit and watch T.V. with one of the dogs bones in his mouth, wearing a dog costume he got for Halloween. This went on for years and we had to continue to replace costumes as they would wear out or get too small. I wish I had those pictures to post. I will have to dig and scan them in soon. I am a parent who chooses the battles she will fight and his desire to be a dog was not one of them. Many times we would run errands together and he would refuse to give up the "dog persona" so off we would go bone, dog costume and barking toddler in tow. Grocery store clerks would stare and some would smile sweetly but he paid no attention. He was a dog. Getting Booger to smile is a challenge. He isn't unhappy, he just doesn't have a face that smiles. Getting a smiley picture is always rough. Case in point:



Boog has a great sense of humor. He is known for his candid remarks and he pulls no punches. He calls it the way he sees it, take it or leave it. He is a no nonsense kid. He's not one for hugs and kisses and has been known to growl if you try to steal them. He will cuddle a bit with his dad when it's requested, but mom is off limits the majority of the time. He's fairly quiet in conversations until the subject turns to something he is passionate about, then no holds barred he can not be stopped. He LOVES music, mostly rock music to my dismay. I have introduced him to some of my 80's hair bands (AC/DC, Def Leppard, Aerosmith etc.) and he is hooked. He started piano lessons 8 weeks ago and Karen says he has an amazing sense of rhythm. He likes piano but doesn't love it, he puts up with it because he's been told it is the best way to learn music and you have to know the basics if you want to be a rock star.


Practicing in his lounge clothes

He is very smart, he loves Science and History, his teachers remark often that they wonder if he is paying attention because during instruction he stares into space. Their worries are squelched when they ask him a question and he spouts off their entire lesson verbatim back at them. He is very curious about what, why and how everything works. He is not satisfied with the answer "just because", he NEEDS a complete explanation and he will ask anyone and everyone until he gets an answer that makes sense.

I can find no other way to say this and feel it is important to note because it is such a strong part of who he is so here goes...Booger is lazy. "There must be an easier way to get things done." "How can I get out of doing chores?" "I can't find underwear so I'll just go without, in fact, I can't find any clothes I like so I'll just bag the whole deal." Comfort is #1. His school uniform is like Chinese torture. The only thing that saves us from a daily fight over it is he has never known anything else, he's been in uniform from the beginning. He'd rather stay home than go through the trouble of putting shoes and socks on, even when it means he misses out on a treat from the gas station or dinner at Sweet Tomatoes. Nothing is worth extra effort, he'll make do with less instead.


Hanging out on the Lido Deck

We love Booger! He is so unique. We love his creativity, imagination and laughs. This post has become lengthy so I will wait to share a "classic" Boogie story until next time

I found a few other pictures even a few with smiles!



Is that a picture of him hugging his mom? That might even be a halfway genuine smile too!

Balling Socks 15 Years of Marital Bliss

~warning flashback~
Sunday 9:45 p.m. several months ago
I have worked hard all weekend to get caught up with the housework including every last stitch of laundry. I head in to bed, exhausted when I'm greeted by this:

The dreaded basket of mismatched socks

I need to make a confession here. I do not always sort our socks. Usually I just let everyone fend for themselves in search for socks every day but this weekend was different. I wanted to start the work week at zero. This meant I wanted EVERYTHING organized and clean. I felt a bit deflated at the site of the socks but knew I had to get them done so I dumped them out onto our bed and began "balling" socks. Duke finished packing lunches for the following day and entered our bedroom:

Duke: "What are you doing?"

Chief: "Uh...balling socks" duh

Duke: "Are you serious!" whining
(keep in mind, he does not see the point of house cleaning)

Chief: "Yup!"

Duke: "This is what I can't stand about you!" (yes ladies, that is what the man said) "EVERY night, just as we get into bed you decide to start some huge project!" (EVERY night? What a moron!)

Chief: SILENT, RIGID, INFURIATED pulls each and every one of his socks out of the basket and dumps them here:

on Dukes side of the bed

So some may be wondering at this point. What does she do? Does she hit his shiny round head with a metal baseball bat? Does she pour gasoline on his toothbrush? No. I am much more mature than that. I gather my socks and head for the living room where I proceed to ball socks. Now I'm not sure what I expected at this point but it wasn't what I got, that's for sure!

5 minutes later

Duke shuffles in: "What are you doing now?"

Chief: Silent

Duke: "You're pissed"

Chief: Silent this is going to get ugly

Duke: "Are you coming to bed?" (I am not making this up my friends)

Chief slowing looking up: "I am balling socks"

Duke: "What about all of my socks?"

Chief: "Are you kidding me?" incredulous

Duke: "No"

Chief: "You can @%&!# your *!@%$ socks!"

Duke taken aback: "I don't know what you're mad about."
(unbelievable right?)

Chief: "Maybe it's that you said you can't stand me"

Duke: "huh?"

Chief: "Who tells their spouse that there is something they can't stand about them? Who does that?"

Duke: "Oh. I'm sorry, I just...uh...ya know...uh I just wanted to go to bed"

Chief: "So you told me you couldn't stand me? You thought that was a good idea?"

Duke: "I said I'm sorry. You tell me if I just apologize that you won't be mad anymore. Well I did it so can't we just go to bed?" (wow! I am married to this guy and he's 46 years old)

Chief: "Just go to bed, I'll come in when I'm done balling socks"

Duke shuffles into bed

5 minutes later

Duke shuffles in again: "So do you want me to bring you my pile?"

Chief: "Didn't you hear me? Let me make it more clear. As long as I am alive I will never, ever ball another one of your socks!" pausing to breathe "Let me put it another way in case you're still not getting it. Unless you do it them yourself, which I'm fairly certain will never happen, I can guarantee you that you will never have another pair of socks balled the rest of your life! Got it?"

Duke shuffles back to the bedroom mumbling: "I just think you are being a bit harsh. I said I was sorry"

10 minutes later

Chief finishes balling hers, Bud's, and Booger's socks and heads into bed, praying Duke is asleep. No such luck. He's apparently not quick enough to realize he should at least fake sleep at this point. She crawls into bed and turns so that her back is facing him.

Wait! What is that? He's actually attempting to pat my behind! What the....!

Chief: "Tell me you aren't touching my butt?"

Duke: "What? Isn't it over now?" (I pray for my boys and their future wives each night knowing they have inherited this man's lack of intuition)

Chief: "Let me just tell you, it will be days before you can safely touch any part of me. You screwed up buddy and you have some work to do."

Duke: "What else can I do? I said I'm sorry, what could I have done differently to fix this?"

Now, all women know what he should've done. It is a no-brainer. I contemplate whether it is worth it to help him at this point. Do I tell him and maybe he'll retain some of what I have to say for the next time he screws up? Or do I just save my energy and let him continue to blindly grasp at straws? I decide to give in:

Chief: "What you should have done is the minute you saw that I had left the room, you should have picked up your pile, come into the living room sat down next to me and balled socks. Or better yet you should have let me go to bed and balled every single sock yourself!"

Duke: "Oh Man! That would've been romantic as hell wouldn't it? I messed up that one big time!"

Chief: "Yes, now turn over and go to sleep and think about what else you can do to make this up to me."

Duke softly: "Are you really never going to ball my socks again?"

Chief: "Nope. And get your hand off my butt."

It's a good thing I'm a patient woman

Score "1" for Duke!

So I usually have a very "thick skin" but today I got my feelings hurt at work. I called Duke and imploded in a flurry of sobs and sniffles. Less than an hour later, he was standing at the door of my office with these:

I felt much better. Way to go to my cute hubby!

disclaimer:
(Shawna threatened serious harm if I didn't post this. Not that I didn't want to, just I might not have thought to do it on my own. By giving him credit for this, I can now post what I've been trying to get to all week...stay tuned to see what I'm eluding to).

Birds and Bees (8 yr old version)

I am planning to spotlight Booger in the very near future I just have a few other posts planned before I go to that place. However, this morning I was privy to a conversation that I fear I will forget if I don't record it immediately. As you may know, I drive a friend's 1st grader (Julia) to school every day and occasionally the conversation gets crazy as Julia IS her mothers child and of course Booger IS mine. So we have been living the drama of mom's pregnancy for a while now and last week her sister was born. This has peaked Boogers already heightened sense of curiosity. I have answered his "birds and bees" questions as delicately as I can over the past several weeks. "How does the kid get out, mom", "How does the kid breathe?", "Does the kid poop?"or "how does the kid get in there". Now I'm sure Adrianne will be mortified to know that she has been the focus of an 8 year old boys curiosity about the human reproductive system, but nevertheless, I move on...so here is the conversation I overheard.

Julia enters the car. All has been quiet until now...Bud in oblivion with MP3 playing much too loudly.

Booger: "Are you feeling better?" he's always nervous to see what kind of mood she's in and she's been ill.
Julia: "Yes"
Booger: "Do you know how the baby got in your mom's tummy?" excited to know something she doesn't.
Julia: silence
Chief: "Uh...Julia, did you get your lunch?"
Julia: "Yup!"
Booger: "Do you want me to tell you?"
Julia: "Sure" bored
Chief: "No, Booger, let's not do that this morning, mommy has a headache" starting to sweat. (I use the headache thing a lot when it comes to this subject. But now's not the time to go into it)
Booger: "But mom, she wants me to tell her!"
Chief: "But this is something parents talk to their kids about. Not friends." (at least until college anyway)
Booger: "But Mrs. Sinca told me!" with inflection
Chief: nervously "OK" How bad can it be, right? If his second grade teacher told him?
Julia: listening intently, munching on her dry cereal breakfast
Booger: Well, there are nerves in your body right? Well it's just like your nerves."
Chief: huh?
Booger: "So with your nerves, there are cells (squeezing my butt muscles getting real nervous) and the two cells meet and then more and more cells join them, like they are a rock band (everything has to do with music in his world). They form together and make a body. Isn't that cool?"
Julia: "Hmmm" clearly not convinced
Chief: "Ok! so did you get all of your homework done"
Booger: "Is your baby pink?"
Julia: "Just her blankets"
Booger: "My mom says babies are pink when they are new"
Julia: "Oh yeah, I guess she's pink. Wait until my mom drives you home and you can see." duh
Booger: "But then she won't still be new. Hey, Julia? If she was born on PI day what if the Dr. threw a pie at her?" proudly
Julia: "That would be so mean!" horrified
Booger: "That would be awesome! Then your dad would throw a pie at the Dr.!"
Chief: "Let's play I Spy!" in desperation
Kids together: "YEAH!"
Bud: startled "What..." preteen expression of dumbfoundedness
Chief: "Have mercy!" eyes rolling

What I want to know is how my explanations weren't enough to satisfy him. Why did he feel the need to go to his teacher? Hopefully things will calm down a bit regarding the female anatomy now that Martie is here. Maybe once the new Transformer movie comes out he'll move on.

I love listening to the kids on the way to school. I learn a ton, truly. When things are quiet is when I have to worry. Like a few weeks ago I found this:



Booger had asked Julia to help him compose a song and needed to know exactly how the Clef symbol looked. I guess they had no paper on hand so this is the upholstery in my back seat. They must have been very quiet, or I was really out of it!

I want to take this chance to apologize to Adi. Apparently you have some work to do assessing the damage and setting Julia straight on a few things. GOOD LUCK! It could've been worse, believe me.

Amazing Bud

~Journal Entry~ (proceed if you feel the need)
So I've been thinking about Bud all week long after posting last Sunday with regards to his toddler days. I thought I should take the time to brag a little bit about how wonderful he is so it will be written for generations to come. I am always telling people who comment on what an amazing kid I have, "I didn't make him this way, he came to me already wonderful."

Smiling:
For those of you who have the opportunity to see Bud on a regular basis can attest to the fact that he is always smiling. Even when he is sad or tired or angry, it is hard for him to not smile at you. I truly do not think this is for his own benefit, but for everyone else. He would never want to make anyone sad and on the other hand, he does not understand it when someone else makes him feel bad either. He has such a tender heart wears his emotions on his sleeve. I pray for him always that he will not be so hard on himself when he makes a mistake, that he will realize what a good kid he is and how proud everyone is of him.

Friendly:
This can mean so many different things to different people and I assure you Bud fits into all of these categories. He is friends to everyone, even those who have wronged him in the past. He loves to be around people. He has NEVER been shy. He will tell you just about anything you want to know. His laugh is contagious and sometimes I try to figure out ways to make him laugh just so I can hear it and watch his face turn all shades of pink to purple. He laves his family, and he thrives on family functions especially if they are at Nana Blackwoods.

Smart:
Bud is an amazing speller. He can spell just about anything and he has been able to do this since he was very young (he definitely takes after mom). Recently he achieved a perfect 30 on the DWA (Direct Writing Assessment). For those of you not familiar, this is a standardized test given by the Office of Education for all 6th and 9th graders. They are given a prompt and are told to write an essay. They are scored based on vocabulary, spelling, grammar, punctuation, proper paragraph and essay structure etc. It is extremely rare for anyone to come away with a perfect score and he did it. He was the first one in our entire school to ever get a 30. He loves History and always impresses his teachers with his ability to remember dates and facts. Right now he really loves his History teacher Ms. Hester. They are great friends. She speaks to me often about his accomplishments and occasionally I will see her eyes well with tears. This is something I have grown accustomed to with all of his teachers as he is a kid who is easy to love.

These are just a few of the things I have thought about this week. I am grateful to have such a great kid, I hope I don't screw him up to bad! Your family loves you Bud!



Football 2008



6th Grade Greek Play


7th Grade Choral Concert


Lounging on the Spa Deck

Vern

So I went to see my friend Adrianne’s new baby at the hospital today. She’s been anticipating the arrival for a few weeks now. Adi tends to feel most comfortable when she is in control and she REALLY wanted to have this labor and delivery go a certain way and in her mind, someone was not cooperating. I did feel for her because I do have these same tendencies. I do admit that I would smile a bit when she would talk about what the baby should do or her cervix should be doing as if she had any say over these things at all. So after all of her planning she finally went into labor and delivered at the U of U this morning.

I went up to visit this afternoon and I have to say, it was an adventure. I was feeling pretty snazzy when I found a parking spot right away as the construction is atrocious and Adi assured me that valet was the only way to go. “Valet shmalet! I got this! Does she think I’m an invalid?” I exited the car and began wandering aimlessly searching for an exit from the parking structure. I must’ve looked helpless because two women approached me and asked if they could help to which I practically looped my pinky fingers into their belt loops and squeaked “Please get me out of here!” So my new found friends took me up a flight of stairs, on two elevators and through several pairs of doors and abandoned me in a makeshift lobby and pointed in the general direction of the patient rooms and walked away! “Hey! I thought we were friends? Where are you going? What, you have newborn in ICU? Can’t he wait a few more minutes?” but they never looked back. I held my head up high and marched with confidence down the hall until I ran into another set of doors. I pushed, I knocked, I tried to pry the doors open with my acrylic nails…no go. GRRR! “People are going to see me standing here and I know there are a lot of signs all over the doors with all sorts of instructions but I will definitely look stupid if I stand here and read them so I’ll just hide here in the corner and wait for someone else to go through and sneak in behind them. Hmmm…where is everyone anyway?” I decide I should just lean on the door and see if it will swing open. “Harder Chief, use a little leverage, Get your shoulder into it…wait, what’s that over there? Is that a button? What does it say? PUSH FOR ENTRY hmpf! Stupid people! Stupid Button!” So beep and the door opens and I’m off again. Down one hall through more doors (these I need to push) down another hall, turn “what did Adi say room 216? 219? Think! You don’t want to repeat what happened last time you visited a new mother in the hospital. Remember, you busted through the patient room doors like John Wayne and announced your arrival only to see an unfamiliar woman trying to get her newborn to latch on? Not good. 219 that’s it,” I pull the lever and finally there is a happy dad and mom and a beautiful little girl. “Phew! Now if I can just remember how to get back to my car!”

Although I know Martha Verniece Jones (They call her Martie, I’ll call her Vern for short) will be unique in her own way, if the last several months have been any indication, I have a feeling she will be a lot like her mom (and that’s a good thing).

15 Years of Marital Bliss

Duke: "You spend way too much time on the computer."
Chief: "So." click, click, click...send.



Duke: "Well, so why don't you watch this T.V. show with me?"
Chief: "Cuz I don't want to."
Duke: "But we always used to watch T.V. together."



Chief: "Can't I just sit here with you while you watch T.V. and do what I want?"
Duke: "If we do that then I may as well not even have a wife!"



Chief: "Sounds good to me"...click, click, click...send
Duke: "Don't you want to spend time with me?"
Chief: "Sure, you wanna read my blog?"



Duke: "No...only homosexuals blog."
Chief: "You have no idea what you are talking about?"
Duke: "Oh yeah? Well, you just go ahead and pound on that keyboard. I'll get my own hobby!"



Chief: "Uh huh" click, click, click...send
Duke: "And you will be O.K. with that?"
Chief: "Yup."



Duke: "O.K. then, I'm going to start doing my own thing."
Chief: "O.K. Honey, thanks for understanding." click, click, click...send.



Chief: Wooo! I'm glad that's settled!

Bud (Houdini?)

So I thought I'd go through each member of the household and spotlight them. Hopefully going back and hi-lighting some the bright (and dark) points will make up for the travesty of my not keeping copious record of how we made it day to day, year to year. Some things I have forgotten I am sure, some things I have struggled to forget, but most things I opt to make note of will shed some light on what we go through to deal with the hand that we've been dealt whether it be genetics, environmental influences, or just plain old stupid decisions with difficult consequences. I give myself license to return in the future and re-spotlight as memories return. I will always preface the past with a cheesy "tag" ~Flashback~. There is nothing more frustrating to me as when I'm watching a show or reading a book and without warning, the author goes back in time, leaving me scratching my head and testing myself for "Signs of Stroke". It just throws the whole thing off for me, so I promise to clearly warn whenever I time travel is eminent.

~Flashback~
So I'm starting with Bud because I have had a few reminders lately about what a difficult toddler he was. My sister Lindsey has a 1 year old, Connor, who is hands down the cutest kid I have ever seen. He is also going to be the one child that may knock Bud from his perch atop the "Most Difficult Toddler" throne.

So here is a snippet of what "toddlerhood" was like for us with Bud.

At 18 months Bud took his crib apart. Yep! He was supposed to be napping and instead he shook the bars so hard that the screws came loose. He then proceeded to remove the screws until the side of the crib crashed to the ground. Time for a big boy bed. The only hiccup in that plan was that we could not allow him the freedom to get in and out of bed at will...not for our sake, but for his own safety. We had to lock him in his room at night so that we could sleep knowing he wouldn't be wandering the streets. "C'mon!" you say, "really, wandering the streets? Don't be dramatic" except that I discovered him wandering the streets in his diaper after he escaped through the garage door into the car and opened the door with the opener on my visor! We had every door secure with chain locks, dead bolts, chairs etc. and never believed at 16 months he would figure out how to foil all of our attempts at containment. After he discovered we could lock him in his room, he removed the first two hinge pins from his bedroom door. I heard the banging early one morning and found him climbing on top of his toy box trying to reach the top pin so that he could take the whole door off it's frame. He escaped preschool on his first day when he was barely three by sneaking into their basement and crawling through their cellar door onto 12600 South. They found him when he knocked on their (locked) front door. The teacher called me hysterical because she had owned the place 23 years and never had an escapee. I just smiled and told her to be careful and have fun. Then I went in and took a long, peaceful nap.

Bud had no fear, which is ironic because after about age 5 he became fearful of his own shadow and even at 12 he is terribly skittish. His curiosity always trumped all. He knew he would get into trouble but he couldn't bear the thought of not knowing how something worked, what it would look like from on top of the fridge, if a steak knife could cut through anything, how hard he could bounce on an open dishwasher or oven door before the springs gave way.

He loved Blues Clues and The Price is Right, he NEVER napped but always slept well at night, he never wanted to be held, and he was always sweaty. He was always very spiritual from the time he was first able to speak. He talked about Heavenly Father and Jesus and church even though he had never been. He has always been honest, never afraid to admit he was responsible for what he had done even when he knew he was in trouble.

So that's a small glimpse into Bud. I'm sure I will return to him in the coming weeks as I watch Lindsey start her toddler journey with Connor. I have a feeling it will seem like I have seen it all before.

Bud 2005

Connor

What My Kids Think About Me

A friend had her kids answer these questions and I got a good laugh, mostly because I know her boys and I thought I knew her fairly well until I read their answers.

I thought I would give it a shot with my boys and quickly realized maybe our kids don't know any of us as well as we think they do.

Booger’s Survey

1. What is something mom always says to you? Do your chores

2. What makes mom happy? When I play the piano nicely

3. What makes mom sad? When I don’t do my chores right

4. How does your mom do to make you laugh? When she pretends to talk like the dogs

5. What was your mom like as a child? Probably chubby

6. How old is your mom? I think I remember…..32 (works for me!)

7. How tall is your mom? Giggle…12 feet

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Eat

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Joyful that there is no kids fighting

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? Playing a drummist, but only if she can sit down

11. What is your mom really good at? eating

12. What is your mom not very good at? Speaking spanish

13. What does your mom do for her job? Being the curriculum of Navigator Pointe Academy

14. What is your mom's favorite food? Hamburgers (ick)

15. What makes you proud of your mom? Actually going to the gym where she does something standing up

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Patrick Star

17. What do you and your mom do together? Watch TV

18. How are you and your mom alike? I don’t know

19. How are you and your mom different? I’m skinny

20. How do you know your mom loves you? We do stuff together

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? Sweet Tomatoes (nah)

Bud’s Survey

1. What is something mom always says to you? You owe me another dollar (I charge them a dollar every time they leave their school stuff out)

2. What makes mom happy? A Clean House

3. What makes mom sad? A dirty house

4. How does your mom make you laugh? When she gets her butt stuck in an inner tube

5. What was your mom like as a child? Independent and controlling

6. How old is your mom? 36

7. How tall is your mom? 5’10” (I'm 5'8")

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Be on facebook

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Read or play on the computer

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? A Cosmetologist

11. What is your mom really good at? Cosmetology

12. What is your mom not very good at? Staying afloat on an innertube

13. What does your mom do for her job? She has two jobs, um…. being a curriculum something, I think it’s a curriculum adequist (what’s that?). And a Cosmetologist

14. What is your mom's favorite food? Wings from Wingers

15. What makes you proud of your mom? She works at my school and is always there if I have problems

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Betty Boop

17. What do you and your mom do together? Helps me with school reports

18. How are you and your mom alike? Well…there’s numerous ways…probably we are outgoing and willing to go the extra mile

19. How are you and your mom different? She is less emotional than me

20. How do you know your mom loves you? When she actually listens to me when I have something important to say

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? Scrapbooking and being with Lindsey