My comfort zone has been totally blown.
- I have ladies in my house right now.. while I am not even home.. that are
digging through my underwear drawercleaning my bathrooms, kitchen... laundry... did I mention I am not even home to monitor this? *takes a swig of diet coke*
- I leave tomorrow for Las Vegas for 4 days for a Macaroni Kid conference of sorts, where I will meet lots of new people... people who might hug me. People who may irritate me and I will have to pretend I
don't want to throat punchenjoy their company... did I mention I don't even know most of these people? I do however, get to meet Meeko.. I'm fareaking excited about that<--he better not hug me.
- I have an appointment scheduled for a pedicure (my first one EVER). Did you know that during a pedicure people touch your feet? GAAAHH<---who comes up with this kinky sh*t?
- I am staying at a Spa resort where people
overpay to have other people rub them all over their bodies with strange oils and other foreign substances. Isn't that like a form of prostitution? I have an appointment on Friday with aprostitutemassage therapist. I'm so scared I'm thinking I may need to wear an adult diaper in case I pee myself.
- Supah is coming with me.. or at least, we are meeting there. Last time we met in person she was a total dud. Couldn't hardly form complete sentences. It was clear that she can't perform well face to face (or she is completely intimidated by me). I'm renting a TTY (Wiki) so that we can hold conversations. I mean.. I AM rooming with her and it could get pretty boring just watching her fumble all over herself trying to impress me. I rented a car... (I am the designated driver because I'm sure she will be plastered the whole weekend.) What a
lushCRACKUP ~wink.
K.. I gotta go get ready. I'm stopping at Wal-mart for Depends and extra batteries for the TTY machine.
BYE Y'all
25 crazy comments. I'm still waiting for yours!:
Love the idea to punk supah. I'm on it!
You crack me up!!!! I love my massages.... I can tell you some stories but I don't want to frighten you even more... It's more fun to be naked.... lol
Have a blast!
Love to you
Kelly
I've Become My Mother
I am so jealous of all the PM's going to Vegas!! I wish I could go!
You will love the massage,,,promise!
If you're anything like me, you'll love the pedicure and feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable during the massage. Have fun:)
FIRST of all, I'm so damn jealous.
SECOND of all, you know Meeko is going to hug you. You better just brace yourself for that shit. Hell, Puffin is going to hug you too. I just KNOW it.
THIRD of all, I've already sent my tweet...
FOURTH of all, do you have a Segway tour booked for Vegas? OMGZZZZ, y'all need to find one and DOEEETTTTT.
I am damn jealous as well. I would totally be paying people to come up and hug you, and then stand back and laugh my ass of as you cringe and run. Did I mention I am jealous. Next year bitches, next year....
just don't bring a water bottle into the massage room with all the oil rubdown stuff.....
Have a great time!!!
Oy, sounds like a scary weekend. Be safe!
Have fun designated sober person! Being the only sober person in a room full of drunks makes for lots of fun...er...um..blog fodder!
I tweeted too!
I SO went and tweeted #TTY to Supah! Buah ha ha! I am SO gonna hug you just for that! AND I'm going to get Supah to take a picture of us while I have you in my death grip . . . Um . . . I mean . . . While I'm hugging you! :) Just a few more days. See you on Saturday! :)
Im very jealous!
Tweeted it!
TWEETED Bwahahahahaha
Have a blast!!
Don't be afraid of massages!! I'd be so freaking excited if I was you!
Have fun this weekend! With the mute. LOL
Off to tweet her.
*tty font* you mother pluckers * end tty font*
im goinna make sure chief gets bertha the hun as her masseuse.
i'll take greg im not gay
HAHAHAHA... you guys are going to have a ba-last!!!
I tweeted, but she had waaay to much time at the airport this morning.
Have a blast. Blog all about it.
You don't need a TTY you need an INTERPRETER!
And I know one that is certified as high as the state she lives in will certify. Yeah....I'm that good...I'll blow myself...err..uh...blow my own horn I mean.
OK, this is an info-packed comment. a) You crack me up!
b) You've won an award...stop by to accept!! ;)
c) I tweeted!
d) In the process of tweeting, wound up following like 5 new peeps.
Love your blog!
Kristin :)
Keenly Kristin
I don't know how to tweet. i know I am lame. I wish I could play along.
Um, my new massage therapist is a wicked old (like 80) man. That should make you feel much better about the great treatent you will be getting!
oh I so love that!! I wish I had seen it earlier! :( I prob should read blogs more often, you know more than once or twice a week.
I hope you have a great time. A weekend away will be a blast.
im your newest follower!!! come follow me back and lets keep in touch! ---very cool blog! :PP)
www.justcherishtoday.com
Probably should be doing some work but I'm stalking instead. Of course just tweeted. http://twitter.com/#!/MacKidDallas/status/27842837078
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? You've never had someone grate off the callouses on your feet? You've never had someone put their back into it as they scuff off all your dead scales and use their own nail to gouge your cuticles and do artwork? You've never had someone shape your toenails with a nail file and talk smack about you in their native language right in front of you?
Hope it was orgasmic.
*hugs!*
hahahahahahhaa
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