My comfort zone has been totally blown.
- I have ladies in my house right now.. while I am not even home.. that are
digging through my underwear drawercleaning my bathrooms, kitchen... laundry... did I mention I am not even home to monitor this? *takes a swig of diet coke*
- I leave tomorrow for Las Vegas for 4 days for a Macaroni Kid conference of sorts, where I will meet lots of new people... people who might hug me. People who may irritate me and I will have to pretend I
don't want to throat punchenjoy their company... did I mention I don't even know most of these people? I do however, get to meet Meeko.. I'm fareaking excited about that<--he better not hug me.
- I have an appointment scheduled for a pedicure (my first one EVER). Did you know that during a pedicure people touch your feet? GAAAHH<---who comes up with this kinky sh*t?
- I am staying at a Spa resort where people
overpay to have other people rub them all over their bodies with strange oils and other foreign substances. Isn't that like a form of prostitution? I have an appointment on Friday with a prostitutemassage therapist. I'm so scared I'm thinking I may need to wear an adult diaper in case I pee myself.
- Supah is coming with me.. or at least, we are meeting there. Last time we met in person she was a total dud. Couldn't hardly form complete sentences. It was clear that she can't perform well face to face (or she is completely intimidated by me). I'm renting a TTY (Wiki) so that we can hold conversations. I mean.. I AM rooming with her and it could get pretty boring just watching her fumble all over herself trying to impress me. I rented a car... (I am the designated driver because I'm sure she will be plastered the whole weekend.) What a
K.. I gotta go get ready. I'm stopping at Wal-mart for Depends and extra batteries for the TTY machine.