(Hiding from the Kids): February 2010

I think I need a brain donor immediately for Bud's labotomy

Suspect in question, Lido Deck, Pacific Ocean

Seriously... this convo just occurred.

Gotta get it down before I forget, what with the constant dumbass crap that happens around here.

~~~~~~

Chief: "Bud (adolescent)where are the groceries I asked you to bring in?"

Bud: "Huh?" (this is always the first line of response... no matter what the question)

Chief: "Sigh... the bags of groceries I handed you to bring in to the house."

Bud: "Did I bring them in?"

Chief: deadpan... "Did I just ask you the same thing? Are you high? Turn off the ipod and find the groceries"

Bud: searches the car, the garage, the other car... (I was dumbfounded that he would think he could've put them in the other car so I turn to leave before I kicked him in the ass)

Bud: Comes in 15 minutes later... I have no idea what he was doing outside for that long... he has 5 bags of groceries...

Chief: "Where did you find those"

Bud: "In the trash"

and he stumbles back to the couch and grabs the remote.

and y'all wonder why I aint right...

Now go Celebrate Amber and Manic Meg's B-day here!

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

I confess my love for....

I confess:

I am in love...

and it isn't Duke

Coke Store Las Vegas

MnM World Las Vegas

(just so you all know, publishing pictures of my road weary fatass on the interwebs is not something I take lightly. My makeups is smudged, my hair is flat, my buttox is extra jiggly from sitting in the car... I expect some serious kudos and loyalty for this)

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

My Skew on Tiger Woods and his overactive putter

This week on the Skew

The Tiger (always has a wood) Woods press conference.

I have to tell you.. I don't give a sh*t about this. I don't give a sh*t about Tiger, or his wife, or his kids. I don't give a sh*t about golf or anyone else who has gotten Superman Syndrome and felt invincible in their Media Drunkeness and landed 50 women in one night (or whatever the hell he did with his putter.)

So all I can do to contribute to this weeks Skew is tell a true story that is sure to have you on the edge of your seats.

Ahem...

We are in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Watching the Electric Light Orchestra concert in the huge outdoor movie theater on the boat.

Im dancing and singing... " Oh, Oh.. telephone liIIIInnnnee!" swaying.. "I'm living in twiiiiilight!"

We had waited all week for this night.

Duke and I... waited... like hippies...

Then right in the middle of the climax of the chorus CNN breaks in with this:

and what did I do you ask? (besides flip a double bird and scream NOOOOoooooo!)

I walked away and announced to the entire audience of over 100 people

"Well, add me to the list of women SCREWED BY TIGER WOODS!"

and my boys just turned and ran the other direction...

Now tell us what you think.

Give us your Skew.

Grab the code for the button -------------------------------------------------------------->

I promise I won't let the other hosts invoke bodily harm.

Link up.

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

photo courtesy of CNN

What I Meant to Say about "ass gas"

Yo!

I am back from Me-HEEE-ko and ready to play with my compad-RRR-es.(said with a roll of the tongue spraying spit on the monitor.)

grab a button over there ------------------------------------------------>>>>

and play or else...

(and a side note... if you have uploaded the button and put in on your sidebar (I love you forever and will totally tell the man upstairs what a rockin dude you are when we meet at the pearly gates) I changed the code so that it will fit in your sidebar and I will not longer look like a dumbass so go over and get the new code and re enter it PAHLEAZE!) Oh for hell sakes! here it is, I will save you a step...)

Go and add the above code to your post... then add it to your sidebar so everyone will know we are BFF's.

Link up at the bottom of my post and I will come visit and follow your blog. It's that simple! (if you spam me or link up illegally without playing the game, I will black ball your bidness and send the MEme Mafia over to your place to unleash some wicked JUJU on yo bunshole. Nobody screws with the Chief.)

When I said it was nice to be home as I walked in the door

What I Meant to Say Is....

13 hours in a car with 3 testosterone filled, farting machines is about 12 hours and 59 minutes too long!

I am wondering what I can use to clean the gas fumes off the inside of the windows.

See how fast and easy that is?

come play!

and fix yer button so it fits... dont forget!

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

WEEK 2 Supah Survivor! My "Buff"on!

So here is my contribution for WEEK 2 Supah Survivor!

I was told to create my own "Buff"on to represent who I am as a blogger and competitor in the game of Supah Survivor!

I felt this was fitting.

I am also instructed to make a tagline. PSHAW! HELLO? I already have one! I think it is perfect in this case so I will use it. Anyone who dares vote me off gets kicked in the throat.

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

Okay so I hope you have been thinking about What You Meant to Say so you can play along this week! I have a post scheduled so I expect everyone to unload all their demons this Wednesday! Come link up!

Post it note Tuesday

Now go play with Supah...

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

Obituary

Funny Fodder from my friend Adrianne who sent this to me via email: I must have been really tired cuz I snorted when I read it.

Going home services for Mr. Pillsbury Doughboy

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

Drink your Ovaltine!

I am saving up for something

I have been drinking my Ovaltine every morning and soon I will have enough proofs of purchase to send away for it.

My Little Orphan Annie Secret Decoder Ring! Just like Ralphie from A Christmas Story!

Im hoping it will help me to decipher Supah's text messages.

I think she must text and drive or maybe she is high while she texts because most of my correspondence ends up looking something like this:

Gong 2eat... nt on putr. Dbd frtd in car and Yep sid he stnky.

or

Chck emil.. MITB is sck and in er. butt stuff

Im like... Duke, you speak dumbass, can you figure out what Supah is trying to tell me?

Then I realize he is no help at all. I still haven't got him to understand the difference between texts and emails or Blog and Facebook. He thinks they are all the same. So I guess I will risk asking the teenager to help me decode until my prize finally arrives. (I just have to watch out for the texts that look like this:)

Mthr Fker, litl bstrd, gve MnM stnkey. I bst hs ass!

I wouldn't want Bud to start crying

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

all photos by http://vi.sualize.us

What I Meant to Say to Stupid Old Lady at Carpool

Come play along!

Its the hottest thing running. People are raving (sorta) about my new MEme.

Take this chance to tell us what you meant to say, should have said, should not have said...

No rules... except one.

Don't link up unless you are truly participating. If you spam me I will cut your eyes out with a spork and feed them to Supah's Dog "Ro Ro"

So play fair... grab the button and link up!

When I screamed through the parking lot at work as I was trying to load 500 children into their cars for departure. I should NOT have said... "What the hell were you thinking when you LEFT YOUR VEHICLE IN THE VERY FRONT OF THE LINE OF 300 CARS, LOCKED THE DAMNED DOOR AND WENT INTO THE BUILDING TO TAKE A PEE PEE!?

What I SHOULD have said was:

OK Grandma, let me explain to you what has happened. I have a lot of parents trying to pick up their kids and when you block the carpool lane it makes my job extremely difficult. Next time you need to change your depends, please pull into one of the parking stalls.

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

How Duke boils an egg

THIS EPISODE OF DUKE IS A DUMBASS WAS WRITTEN PREVIOUS TO MY VACATION AND SCHEDULED FOR PUBLICATION SO THAT YOU MAY STILL GET A FEW GIGGLES, EVEN WHEN IM AWAY...I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH.

So nearly every morning I take a hard boiled egg to work.

We buy an 18 pack and boil them all at once so that as I leave for work, I can just throw one in my bag each day.

It is a great way to curb my appetite in between breakfast and lunch.

So Duke was in charge of boiling the last batch of eggs. This morning I reached in, grabbed an egg and threw it in my bag. When I got to work and took it out to peel I noticed something strange. My egg looked dingy and it had a burn mark on one side.

To all that is holy... how do I survive this day to day? (medication)

So I called the Duke up on the phone and inquired as to WHAT THE NUMBNUTS HAPPENED TO MY EGG!

Here's the official transcript:

Me: "Hey, uh... something go wrong with the eggs yesterday?"

Duke: "What eggs?"

seriously, what eggs... he asked what eggs?

Me "Yeah, dumbass. My reproductive EGGS! What eggs do you think?"

Duke "Oh... heh.. yeah, the ones I boiled up after work? Well, I put them on to boil and forgot about them. I took a nap and when I woke up the were smoking and on fire. I guess the water had evaporated... heh..."

Me "Wow. That's awesome! Did you really not think it was stupid to put them back in the container as if we would actually use them with their insides like rubber?"

Duke "Cool! I wonder if they bounce?"

Me "click"

sigh.... I found the pot he used. he put it back in the cupboard with the black circles and scorched sides still visible. I guess he figures you can't get anymore sterile than extreme heat and flame.

The funny thing is, when I got home from work last night, I wondered why all of the windows were fogged up through out the house.

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

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WEEK 1 Supah Survivor! A Valentine for my love, Harv

I was charged this first week of Supah Survivor Challenge to make Harv (the big hunka man) a Valentine. He is the official "Host" of Supah's Survivor Game.

By hand...

No puter

(PS... I read the rules VERY CAREFULLY, and I saw no mention of specifics on WHO has to make the valentine. Since Im in mexico, I had Shawna's daughter hurry and make mine so I could mail it as I left town (I paid her $10). Didn't she do a GREAT JOB?)

Dear LAwdy help me....

I used to be the bomb at this crap. I would sit for hours, working on one page... shading, stamping, cuttin tiny pieces of paper in to works of art. I was the queen of the glue stick, princess of the eyelet....

Until I met my puter and Creative Memories. Now there is no mess, no glue.

until this challenge.

As you know I am in Mexico as we speak. Celebrating MArdi Gras with my caramel skinned bruthahs.

Trust me folks... you do not want to send me home early! I gots some good shitske up my sleeve just itching to debut!

So without further adieu...the second half of the challenge was to make up a poem for Harv and add it to the valentine....

Here it is... I did it all by myself...

I'll be so pissed, if you won't be mine

If you don't choose me, my Valentine

I'll kick, I scream I'll throw a fit

I'll come to your house and take a sh*t

The others may promise flowers, chocolates and wine

But I, my love will guarantee

no one will show you a better time

If you will will be my Valentine

Harv... Be my Valentine

Now, go see whats going on over at the Survivor blog!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

I have a crush on The Gambler

I confess!

(I hear its good for the soul so go over and confess a sin to Glamazon and then link up)

I have a crush on someone.... Besides Rupert of course.... (my heart is aching for my poor Rupert and his broken toe.. what a badass! He would play with a busted arm... don't worry about the fire buddy... yer just trying to keep your secrets under raps)

Its this hottie!

and guess what?

IT'S HER FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY!

So go over and say hi and tell her she is old. (she loves that shitske)

Then send her money cuz I heard she gambled all hers away on a horse last night (or no... maybe it was that she was bragging about what a HORSE her husband was last night) anywhat...

Go tell her she is loved... cuz she is

By her Wolf Pack

and to end this lovely tribute...

I give you.. the next grammy award winning (I wrote whining first and had to fix it snort)...

song writing masterpiece by Supah

THE GAMBLER!

A song for Mommy Is IN the Bathroom. Our resident Gambler.

Sung to the tune of the Great Kenny Rogers " the gambler'

Now go wish her a happy birthday !!

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

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My "Skewed" View of Romance

Episode 2

Did anyone notice on Supah's blog last week for Episode 1 of The Skew, my picture depicts me with a bit of a growth on the outside of my head?

Im supposed to be "Joy Bahar" from the view but I look more like an alien with a set of testicles hanging from my forehead.

Real Nice Supah!

So this weeks "Skew" topic is

What Romance Means to Me

Bleh...

I am not a romantic. I never have been. My husband thinks he is romantic but our ideas of romance are completely different.

The most romantic thing he could do for me (and I've asked him to do it for 15 years) is clean the entire house while I'm at work. See, he works from home a lot. He has the house to himself many days. He has time. Yet after 15 years he has never done it. He would rather buy me something I don't want or will never use so that he doesn't have to clean. Even though he knows that is what would "light my fire" so to speak. He thinks a slap on the ass and a rub of the head is the signal that its time for romance.

Don't get me wrong. Duke is the sweetest guy you will ever meet. We just don't see eye to eye on this. Men think of romance as physical, woman think of it more emotionally. I want to feel that he REALLY thought about me and what would make me happy.. not what the minimum effort is for him to score some sex points.

So I don't hug and cuddle and touchy touchy... I don't want gifts and flowers.... I don't want my ass slapped as I walk down the hall...

I just want to know you thought about me and only me for one second. That you didn't care how hard it was going to be, or how much you hate the chore, or whether it interfered with football. Just that you did it because it is what mattered most to me.

There is nothing sexier or romantic than a clean house that I didn't have to scrub. Or a man with a mop and a squeegee! <-----------------(this post is so worth a repeat so go read it)

So what does romance mean to you?

Go link up and fill us in on your "Skew"

(and someone please call a plastic surgeon to remove the nutsack from my skull)

Link up here and give us your "SKEW!"

Oh! And once again, a friendly reminder!

No funny business at my bloghouse while I'm gone! I've hired a babysitter who is meaner than Oprah when Steadman takes he Ho Ho away.

She gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "A Spoonful of Sugar" so mind yer manners!

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

What I Meant to Say About Vacation

Okay... you know the drill.

grab a button over there ------------------------------------------------>>>>

and play along.

Link up with Mister Linky at the bottom of my post and I will come visit and follow your blog. It's that simple! (if you spam me or link up illegally without playing the game, I will black ball your bidness and send the MEme Mafia over to your place to unleash some wicked JUJU on yo bunshole. Nobody screws with the Chief (Just ask the Snark Society...) snort)

Mr Linky screwed me last week and I lost half of my links! It took me hours of therapy to recover!

Only the coolest bloggers Say What they Really Meant to Say with Chief!

So let's get on with the PART-AY and knock this down brotha! (feeling a bit gettho today, can ya tell?

To my wonderful, amazing, dedicated boss whom I admire and look up to:

When I apologized for scheduling my yearly getaway during the busiest month of the year... and you politely smiled while I am sure your asscheeks were puckered:

What I Meant to Say Was...

I know you hate it when people take off of work for vacations.

But, I have to leave town in February!

If I don't then I will have no choice but to commit myself to a mental institution where they will put me in a rubber room with a straight jacket and xanax drip by IV. This would surely be a drain on the company medical expenses and would do no one any good... especially my nurses who will have to wipe my crack and give me sponges baths.(don't hurt people you don't even know!)

It is truly the best gift I can give you and the school... leaving you for 5 days so that you will have the joy of seeing me return refreshed (after a week of post vacay depression, of course).

and when I said I was leaving for Mexico this week...

What I meant to say is...

I'm taking THEM with me!

DBD is buying! WAHOOO! <------------------just totally kidding guys. You can't come.

Snort!

So that's it for this edition of WIMTS! Please play this week and make me feel loved

Don't forget the 2nd episode of THE SKEW with Supah, Chief, Princess, JennFab and Mommy is in the Bathroom.

Topic this week...

WHAT DOES ROMANCE MEAN TO YOU?

Think about it, then grab the button from one of our sidebars and link up on Thursday!!

Oh! And just one more thing!

No funny business at my bloghouse while I'm gone either! I've hired a babysitter who is meaner than a starved pitbull with a hotdog up her ass.

She gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "A Spoonful of Sugar" so mind yer manners!

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

Stick it to Supah Tuesday.. Duke attempts the grocery list

Go link up with Supah

Don't forget the 2nd episode of THE SKEW with Supah, Chief, Princess, JennFab and Mommy is in the Bathroom.

Topic this week...

WHAT DOES ROMANCE MEAN TO YOU?

Think about it, then grab the button from one of our sidebars and link up on Thursday!!

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

Children

Please... every mom, every dad... go read. Pooba

and then hug your children and thank God for every minute you have with them.

Let the laundry sit, turn off the computer, just play with your kids.

My heart breaks for this family and they need all the support they can get.

Chief

Seriously Sunday with Chief

Today is the day! I am answering all of the questions you asked on Friday! No question will be left unanswered! Feel free to ask followups and I will answer you as long as you email has been enabled in your profile.

I tried and tried to get the formatting right on this to make it easier to follow. After over an hour, I give up. Try to follow along. The questions are in black and my answers are in red. SupahMommy said...: I would like to know what TV show you'd like to be a character in.
Hello? Easy! Grey's Anatomy. I would so want to be stirring up trouble and catching everyone in the on call room getting it on. I wouldn't be any specific character I would want to create my own. Shonda Rhimes, if you are reading this... "I will work for free".
What is your dream job? I want to be a greeter at Wal-Mart. Just think, I could sit on one of those Jazzies and hand out those smiley face stickers to all the kids. They also get to use the price guns on the returns! What blogger do you admire? ( ahem) Sorry Supah, I admire you as a person but I have ALWAYS admired Heather of the EO as a blogger.I love the way she spins a tale and her honest writing is so admirable to me. Susan of Warm Chocolate Milk is another one I found when I first entered the blogging world who I never miss a post. What Chiefly ways do you teach your boys in order to prep them for their independence?
My boys do chores everyday. They don't do them as well I would but I refuse to raise boys who can't clean (like Duke).
I will not get them out of sticky situations they get themselves into. I will give them advice on how to fix them, but I will not solve their problems for them.
Brian Miller said...: you are going into protective custody and must move to a new town...where do you choose to go?
Good question! I would move to Jamaica. After visiting the islands every year Duke and I have decided we have been misplaced by fate and really should be running a bar on the beaches of Jamaica. Can't you just see me with my red hair and freckly fair skin fitting right in with the natives?
Danielle said...: Whats your favorite TV show? Grey's Anatomy is my "must see", will run over my own grandmother, show I have to see each week. I need the house completely quiet while I watch and I will not answer the phone if you call. In fact, if you do call you will be put on my "deal breaker" list.
Semi-Slacker Mom said...: Which kid is your favorite & why? Maggie is my favorite and it's no secret. She never talks back, keeps my lap warm and toddles around after me wherever I go. She is also, by far the cutest. If you were stranded on a island, 3 things you must have? (Can't say computer)
Family including the dogs
Iced Diet Coke
Granny panties (to avoid the chafing from the beach sand)
Steven Anthony said...: if you were on an island and could only have only one item and one person....what would they be? George Clooney and my Date Spanx
SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...: hmmm. questions. what is the most out of character - that people would think is out of character for you - thing you have ever done Besides blogging? heh.... 5 years ago some friends of mine talked me into joining a mom's dance group. I donned my high heel dance shoes and danced on stage in front of hundreds of people to the Santana song "Smooth". I was the biggest girl out there and very humiliated.
Meeko Fabulous said...: Thanks for the shout out Chief! :) Here's my question . . . Who would play you in the movie "Chief: A Biopic"?
Just a sec... gotta go Wiki Biopic... Okay so its a sort of short Biography of a famous person. I would play Molly Ringwald. I have been told since I was 16 that I look exactly like her. Since I gained my Sumo Suit, I haven't heard it as much... but I guess I would be a shoe in for a part playing her. I found this pic the other day when a friend asked me who people always say I look like.. I showed it to Duke and he about dropped dead. He agrees this looks eerily like me in my skinnier years.
Oka said...: I would like to know what you like to do outside of the online/computer world? I am deeply engrossed in my work. Six years ago a group of parents and I started a Charter School and that is currently where I work. I quit my full time hair business and I devote a lot of my time working for the school. It is something I am very proud of and I enjoy watching it succeed each day.
Anjeny said...: Ok...I'm assuming you have a alone time, what do you do with that time? beside blogging. Not a lot of alone time but when I get it, you can find me soaking in the tub with a great book. Since I'm fairly new to your blog..where are you blogging from? (hey, you said ask anything) I live in Utah, in the Salt Lake Valley. I have lived here my whole life except for one year in North Carolina as a nanny when I was 19. What would be your ideal get away or vacation spot? The Carribean! I try to get back every year. When I am there I am a totally different person and I feel every worry in the world lifted from my shoulders.
Epiphius said...: Been to "hell" lately? ;) I went to hell 4 times in one week the first of January. I was so excited to get on the scale at the end of the week only to find a 0 weight loss on the scale. I jumped off the wagon and into a McDonalds and I am working on getting back on. I have been back once since then. I have not met with the scale again since them though. What one quality do you want your kids to have? EASY ONE! Respect. Period. If they have respect for themselves and others everything else will fall into place and their lives will be successful. Are you excited or nervous for your trip to TX? Excited. Fo Sho! Will probably get more nervous as the day gets closer. The thing that makes me the most nervous now is that I have to ask for time off of work. NOT FUN!




Herding Cats said...: Your favorite book? My favorite book of all time is Return to Red Castle by Dorothy Keddington. I read it as a teenager over and over. It is a teen romance written by a local writer here in Utah. If you can find it, you should read it. and its sequels...
Triplets Plus Two Momma said...: Favorite body part of your hubbs? His eyes. The are deep chocolate brown and he has think, long brown lashes. I so wanted my kids to get those inherited. Instead they both have blue eyes, but they did get his lashes. (BTW, my eyes are green.. WTF?) Favorite Disney Character? I asked Duke how I should answer this and he said Grumpy the Dwarf... he's an ass. I love Mr. Potato Head from Toy Story. In your opinion, what is the meaning of life? :) Wow! Great Question! Maybe I should send my missionaries over to you house to fill you in! LMAO! Once again, I asked Duke and he said Couch, Coke, Computer, Fartsack (Bed)... he's an ass. My faith is the reason I feel I am here.
Joanna Cake said...: Came from In The Real World. If you could change one thing about yourself or your life, what would it be?
My weight for sure! My ability to control my food intake. I would have learned to love physical fitness as a child so I would have an easier time loving it now.
Corrie Howe said...: Okay, I'm going there...you said anything. Are you really a redhead? Or do you just play one on blogs?
Absolutely red headed. My natural is more of a dirty brown (I think), but being a cosmetologist I haven't seen my natural hair color for 15 years. I have been just about the same shade of red for all of those years! Here's a pic of me last summer at an outdoor concert with my BFF. My mascara was running but my lipstick was still in tact. Isn't Shawna silly?
HalfAsstic.com said...: Do you have any siblings? How many? Are you close to them? Can I be one? ;-) I have an older brother who lives in California. We see each other at least once a year. My parents were divorced when I was very small and my mother remarried. I have two younger sisters ages 25 and 19 who I see once a week at Sunday dinner that are a product of my mothers second marriage. I love them even when they drive me nuts... which is all the time. ~wink..; PLEASE BE MY SIBLING! I NEED ONE CRAZIER THAN I AM SO THAT I DON'T FEEL SO "ODD MAN OUT" ALL THE TIME! I wish you lived closer to Austin, I would love to finalize the adoption papers while Im at the "HO"down!




The Princess of Sarcasm said...: How many times have you cried yourself to sleep over the news that you will not get to meet me on your Texas trip? Never. I have cried so hard all week I haven't slept a wink. PLEASE COME! Would you rather french kiss Gary Bussey or a donkey? (I know...both are asses.)Who's Gary Bussey? Wiki Please! I guess I choose the donkey.. hell it isn't much different than what I kiss each day anyway... snort Would you rather be 15-years-old again or 50? Oh easy one! 50... 15 was a bad year for Chief. At 50 I will own my RV, the kids will be in college, and I will be gallivanting all over the US with Duke.. not a care in the world. Who would you most like to punch in the face and why? There are so many. It has to be the person or persons involved in the enormous budget cuts to education in my State. We have fought and fought to get funding to teach our kids and yet we loose hundreds of thousands each year.

Mommy is in the Bathroom said...: What's your theme song? Get Drunk and Be Somebody by Toby Keith (asked Duke on this one.. Im terrible at this stuff.. my memory sucks.) What smell makes you want to vomit? Sauerkraut or Dukes ass... they are really one in the same really. Are you naturally a red head with some enhancement? If not, what color is the carpet, just so we can know the color of the drapes. *ahem*. I've answered this question already.. above. Just for asking so creatively though I will answer again. I was a readheaded child... I am now a mousy color (I think)... Ive dyed myself red for 15 years. I have tried blond, brown and black on occasion but it never lasts more than a few days. I was meant to have fire red hair. Trust me. Why do you hate Chicago and by doing so, hate me? Chicago gave me nightmares. Because of that traumatic experience so long ago in Chinatown I picture you holed up in the projects with your AK47 and greasy brown hair.Until you prove otherwise, I will not be able to love you like "the others" :) Do you think theres maybe one dinosaur left, wandering around greenland, going WTF? Why would you choose Greenland? Yes, Im sure of it. But I picture Antarctica. If I asked you to give me the Kate Gosselin haircut, would you do it? LMDAO! Yes. I never try to talk people out of what they ask for unless It is impossible due to their texture or state their hair is in ie... too damaged, not the right length, impossible, etc. Shawna gets what she wants even when I think she will look like shit... (BTW, please tell her not to grow her hair out. Go leave her a comment here (Shawna) C'mon everyone go vote and tell her she looks terrible with her hair longer.) On your cruise will you participate in the conga line? How about a little shuffle board? Yes, on the Conga line... it's the kids favorite. They do it a dinner time! Never payed Shuffle board... too busy laughing at the drunks.

Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short) said...: Hollywood is making a made for television movie about your life. Who do you want to play the starring role of Chief? Ellen. I think she would portray me perfectly. Dry, sarcastic and quick with the retort. Maybe Sandra Bullock cuz she is hawt!

CountessLaurie said...: First, if you could change your name to anything, what would you choose and why? Great question! I once knew this girl named Treasure. I'm sure she hated her name growing up but I always envied her uniqueness! If only my mom would have been that creative! If you could relocate to anywhere in the world, would you? Yes! If yes, where would you go? Jamaica or Dominica... I am an island girl at heart. Andy Gibb or Shaun Cassidy? Andy Gibb Baby! His chest hair is a real turn on dontcha think!? Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston? Jolie. She is mysterious and I want her lips. If you could trade bodies with any one person for 24 hours, who would you trade with? I would choose a mans body. Just to help me understand what the hell makes them act the way they do. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. I believe in spirits existing around me. I don't think they necessarily hang around forever, but I do think they pay us a visit. to comfort us or in some cases to hurt us if we allow them to. I believe we have the power to let them in or make them leave. Do you think ghosts believe in you? Yes.. the above answer covers this one too.. Finish this sentence: all I want for Christmas is... a cure for cancer. 'nuff said Favorite Disney prince??? I can't even think of one! I have boys and I was never a girly girl who watched the sappy crap... Is there a Prince Charming? That's who I pick lmao!

So that is all for now peeps! Have a great Sunday!

If you like this exercise let me know in comments and maybe I will do it again in a future post.

It's not always necessary to reach out and touch the ones you love when the middle finger will do... -Chief

Where is it?

Who wants me

History

I think I need a brain donor immediately for Bud's labotomy

I confess my love for....

My Skew on Tiger Woods and his overactive putter

What I Meant to Say about "ass gas"

WEEK 2 Supah Survivor! My "Buff"on!

Post it note Tuesday

Obituary

Drink your Ovaltine!

What I Meant to Say to Stupid Old Lady at Carpool

How Duke boils an egg

WEEK 1 Supah Survivor! A Valentine for my love, Harv

I have a crush on The Gambler

My "Skewed" View of Romance

What I Meant to Say About Vacation

Stick it to Supah Tuesday.. Duke attempts the grocery list

Children

Seriously Sunday with Chief