HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SUPAHMOMMY!

So someone is having a birthday...

One of my favorite Supah's in the world.

I wanted to make this day better than Christmas...

Better than the 4th of July!



So Im finally going to sing for you... ready?

Mi Mi Mi MI MIIIII MIIIIiIiIIIiI!

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to SUuuOOOoUUuUUUPAH!

(Dogs howling)

Happy Birthday to you!

I also drew her a stick figure picture.  It is a depiction of the time we finally met IRL...

The Wolf Pack decided we would all do these stick figures.  Princess cheated and drew hers and scanned it.  What a wuss! 

SOMEDAY YOU WILL Be SUPAH! someday<---when hell freezes over.

Then I went out and bought her the bestest gift evAh!<---OK so I I didn't buy it I stole it from the little old lady down the street... the recession has hit me real hard.


One I KNOW she needs!  

For those of you who don't know.. Supah is a mute.  This is a TTY machine used for the the nonverbal.

I know its shocking....I didn't even know myself until the Wolf PAck met in Texas this Spring.  It was devastating to see her struggle to keep up with our funny...

This will help her ....

I know she is red faced as she reads this, she is angry that I went so far out of my way to make her birthday special.  You are welcome Sup.... xoxoxox



I LOVE YOU SUPAH!  Happy Birthday!  I may or may not have left a REAL SEXY POST over at Supah's joint.  Check it out if you dare.

Monday Minute

I'm suffocating in work.  Unfortunately, the blog is the last of my priorities.  Duke is still alive.  So are me and the kids.. but barely.

I'm taking the lazy way out for this post.  Forgive me or kiss my ass.  Whatever works for you.

1. Who is your "what-if" person?(What-if person being what if I married this person or am now in a relationship with "this" person)

Kris.  Can't remember his last name right now.. too tired.  He was a D.J. We went on a few dates and I was totally hooked.  He was WAAAY older than me (or so I thought at the time) I was 17 and he was 21.  Little did I know I would marry someone 11 years my senior just 4 years later.  Anywhocares... He was very respectable, calm, reserved, classy, religious... etc. <---totally opposite of who I am or was.  Can you imagine where I would be today if I had married him?  It's a good thing he figured it out before he got in too deep.

 

2. What is your nickname?  

Chief... of course.  Duh.  This is the name I am most called by friends and family although Duke has a few he uses that I am not quite as fond of.

3. If you could choose how you died, how would you like to die?

This is a terrible question.  I will probably have nightmares about drowning or burning up in a fire now... sheesh!  But as we all know I am a rule follower so I guess I would want to die of an ice cream overdose.

4. If you could have named yourself, which name would you have picked?

Cher... snort

5. Who were you named after or for what reason did your parents choose your name?

My parents argued over the choice for months.  I was finally named after the name she heard on a Soap Opera.  My name was painful to grow up with... but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

Conversations With Bud... Antelope Testicles

Setup:

It's time for breakfast and Duke is still an invalid (meaning we are all at his beck and call)

Duke: "NURSE BUUUuuuuUUUD!" <----this is what I hear constantly.. all day, poor Bud "I need you to get a cantaloupe, cut it in half, dig out the seeds and bring it to me with a spoon please."

Nurse Bud: sigh "OK"  trudges to the kitchen

The novelty of the injury has worn off and we are all ready for Duke to start getting up and fetching his own crap

Nurse Bud: "Hey dad? Is this a real live cantaloupe?"

Duke: "uh.. yeaah?"

Nurse Bud: "So it came from the real live animal?"

Duke and Chief together:  snap our heads to look at each other "What the hell are you talking about son?" 

It dons on me what he is thinking and I can't help but bust out laughing, pointing, and mocking

Chief: "Oh I get what you're asking!  Yes, of course... these cantaloupes are testicles off of a REAL LIVE ANTELOPE!"

Nurse Bud: "Really?"

LMAO... for the love of all that is holy.. I don't make this stuff up.  I need to get out of the house people.. seriously.. there aren't enough yellow pills to keep me from losing my shit here.

I made need a security detail

Yo!

I'm famous ya know... you want my autograph?

I'm hosting Follow Me Back Tuesday with with Survey Junkie, Little Yaya's,
Review Retreat, Boobies,Babies and a Blog

So link up and follow and meet a crapload of new friends!

Update on my life to date:

I am seriously starting to lose my crap over here.

Did you know that when you try to help someone who is recovering from surgery you aren't allowed to act tired or busy doing anything other than be available to their every want and need?

Physical therapy is hysterical. The dude tells Duke what to do and I can see in his eyes that he has no intention of doing anything that makes him hurt. I'm basically paying someone to come piss Duke off. Then he leaves and I'm left with an irritated patient.

So while I continue to be abused and degraded.. y'all link up and play... umkay?

 Follow Me Back Tuesday!

How it Works

 

1. Add your blog to the list ( only have to add once )
2. Grab our button & the link code to post on your blog
3. Follow all 4 hostesses above & then as many other blogs as you would like. 
4. After you follow a new blog make sure you leave them a comment letting them know that you are now a follower so that they can follow you back, and please follow others back if they leave you a comment that they follow you.

Random crap.. like my posts aren't normally crap

RANDOM THOUGHTS

• Should I feel guilty that when I came to the hospital today to "babysit" I brought the portable DVD player, a couple of "shoot em up" movies and earphones for Duke?

• It's not that I don't mind chatting.. but another 7 hours like yesterday and I would seriously need to be sedated.  

• They have Duke on Oxycontin.. I know y'all are jealous.  I could make some big money with this shit on the streets.

• Supah posted something awesome today.. go check it out.  It's stuff Ive wanted to say for months, she beat me to it.

• Duke nurse is a dude (which is fine) but this guy is clueless, I think he is from "rent a nurse".  He just told us a story about how last night, he was working at an ER and went in to check a patient and didn't know the guy was dead until 30 minutes later when the other nurses told him.  He said he touched him and watched his chest go up and down.  I'm a little worried for Duke.

• If you have been a reader for a while you know Booger is going to be a rockstar.  He has already named his band and has written and composed several songs.  They are better than you'd expect, BTW.  He wanted to take guitar lessons when he turned 8.. I made him start with piano.  Now it's been a year and a half and I have given in.  He started guitar this week and is in 7th heaven.  When "SLIME ROCK" hits the big time, you will be able to say you blogged with the lead singers mom.

• Ive never had a pedicure.  I escared to have people touch or look at my feet.  I really want to though.  I think about it all the time.  My nails are always perfect and I feel like Im doing them an injustice to have my toes as gnarly as they are.

• I know Im supposed to sing...  I planned it for this week, but I've been a bit busy.  Anyone figured out what Supah's favorite song is yet?

I gotta go.. the cafeteria closes in 25 minutes and they have donuts to die for.

Hopefully Duke won't notice Im leaving...

Duke update: Sorry this is all my life consists of right now, so suck it up and read

We are all still alive <---I haven't smothered him in his sleep due to his man whine

The 75 minute surgery look nearly 4 hours due to extreme bone damage.  Much worse than they anticipated or than they thought someone would live with.  The had to grind and pound more than normal.  They decided to do a Spinal Block instead of general <---he was thrilled until he realized he would be awake for the catheter.  :) Believe me, today he is grateful to have it he is tickled to death that he doesnt have to get up to pee.

Anywho...his airway is arched and they worry about damage to his vocal chords with the general anesthesia and the breathing tube... 

The Dr.’s and nurses said he talked nonstop during surgery and cracked jokes/asked questions the whole 4 hours.  He remembers nothing but the sound of banging and drilling noises... I still can't figure out why everyone is smiling at me everytime they see me in the hallways.

SOOOO...

Now the recovery starts…  hopefully it will go well, they were not able to completely straighten the joint/leg back to normal.  Over the 30 years since he injured it in high school, the nerves around the joint have settled in and will not allow for it to be completely straight.  The knee will probably last 17 -20 years before he needs a new one. He says he hopes he's dead by then.

The kids can’t get over the fact that they shaved his legs and are making him wear nylons (compression socks).  Bud told him he is going to bring him a dress to come home in.  The Chief clan is merciless.

We are looking into home health care tomorrow... he will need someone to check his coumadin levels every day and do physical therapy.  Im totally making them dump is bedside urinal he insisted on buying.

Medical Conversations with Duke

I am not available today as this is the day we have all been waiting for...

Knee replacement surgery for Duke...


In honor of this day I have decided to start a new series....

You may think I am a bit premature with this subject but oh no...

I have tons of material already, just getting ready for D-Day...

Starting with this one.


Setup:  At a 2 hour pre-op meeting with physical therapists, surgeon, nurses, etc...

Home health nurse:  serious and professional "I want you to understand that you will be on a medicine by the name of coumadin.  This is a blood thinner that will aid in keeping you from getting blood clots.  60% of all hip and knee replacements develop blood clots or pulmonary embolisms.  These can be very dangerous and in some cases fatal.  My job is to help monitor your meds to ensure that your blood is not too think or too thick.  I will be coming to your home at least every two days to test your levels and adjust your dosage.  It is important that you not forget to take your meds as the consequences are very severe."

Chief is sweating, taking notes... anxiety is setting in...

Surgeon:  dry and monotone... "You will experience a significant amount of pain after surgery.  This is a picture of your knee after the replacement has been made.  It is imperative that me manage your pain without over-using the narcotics to avoid dependency."

Physicians assistant:  friendly and concerned. "Do you have any questions Mr "Duke"?  I know the information you have learned here seems overwhelming and frightening and I want to make sure you are comfortable with all of it."

Duke: " um.. yeah... DO I HAVE A CATHETER DURING SURGERY?

Chief:  caught off guard "huh?"

P.A.: I believe, dumbfounded... "Yes sir, you will and it will also be used for at least 24 hours after surgery."

Duke: frozen.. "GASP!  Am I awake when you put it in?  Or, Or, wait... AM I AWAKE WHEN YOU TAKE IT OUT?"

Chief:  crawling under chair

Duke: turn quickly to find me glaring at him..."Chief, I'm not doing this shit... all these perverts want to do is touch my "parts"!  SICKO B*STARDS!"

Chief:  exasperated...."O.K. honey, calm down, we will go home and discuss it."

Sigh... and it begins...

stay tuned for "How will I pee in the middle of the night?" and other questions related to male genitalia... isn't this supposed to be knee surgery?

Q & A with Chiefy!

As promised, answers to your deepest darkest questions.

ENJOY!


Herding Cats said...

    I want to know....what your life was like when you were 27.

My 27th year was insane... actually, I was pregnant 10 months out of the 12, Duke started a new job and was in training for 6 of those months, leaving me to puke 13 times a day and try to keep a 4 year old from tearing the house apart.  Not my most favorite year.  NOW 28!  That was a good year!  New house, breast reduction (best thing evah!) and my tubes were tied!

茹希茹希 said...


    到處逛逛~~來繞繞留個言囉~~~~.................................................................　　　　　　

Let me see if I can speak in code so you understand butthole...　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

Mommy is in the Bathroom said...


    You better answer that japeneese question.. Done :)


    I would like to know, no i demand to know, how you can be team charlie. WTF? It's the mustache... and seriously Jacob speaks like he has lock jaw and whines worse than Duke with a rug burn<---he he... Edward is my second choice but seriously!  The dude needs a Whopper with cheese, this much woman would snap him in half.


    If your blog became Dooce or Pioneer Woman popular and you suddenly were making 40k a month, but had to deal with all the negative and mean comments, including hate sites, would it still be worth it for you? No, I would hire someone to run it for me like Dooce did. Someone skinny with better complexion. (I would answer the hate mail though cuz everyone knows, Chief likes herself a good fight.)


    Llama or eel? I would be vegetarian before I touched eel or Llama... Eels are slimy and Llama's spit shit and are unpredicatable.  They are both nasty ugly to look at to top it all off.



    Why do they put holes in crackers? DUH!  So they don't puff up and turn into croutons... sheesh! kids these days...


    Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? My head is always over my heels, except on my anniversary or something. wait..what? Anniversary... what does that have to do with anything?  Maybe it's cuz people enjoy being head over heels instead of standing upright... not me of course ~wink



    What's your favorite recipe to make?  ice (preferrably from Sonic), lemon and lime (fresh) and diet brown bubbly... shaken not stirred (I don't cook)


Meeko Fabulous said...

    Are you really going to be in Vegas in October with Supah? And if so, how would you feel about meeting me? Um.. read the post before this one... I can't wait to squeeze me some Meeko!

Oka said...

    Would you have room to put up my family of six if I told you I was coming to visit???  Hell no!  We have a fully unfinished basement for a reason.  Duke refused to finish it to ward off visitors.  I know a great nearby hotel though! ~wink.. love ya though


Ian said...

    Why does it hurt when I pee?  Because the thong underwear your wife makes you wear makes your testicles infected .... DUH!

    Why can't everyone be awesome instead?  There's only room for a few awesome peeps.  It's just me and you buddy, sorry to break it to ya.

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

    I'm not even leaving a question now. I just read Melissa's. There's no way I will win. (This was a competition, right?) Sigh... 

SupahMommy said...

    WHich blogger would you marry if you could kick Duke to the curb without any heavenly retribution? YOU SO WANT ME TO PICK YOU!  sorry....Princess for sure.. I hear she has nice perky boobies. (BTW thanks for the religious get out of jail free card)
    ( you have to pick a blogger).. I think Princess blogs doesn't she?  You think I can't read?


    If the stars align , as we all thought, and we are vindicated in our honor and goodness - do you do a little happy dance?  I do a happy dance on the grave of evil!  and spit like a llama in it's eye!


    If you could kill off a cartoon character who would it be?
    Please don't say scooby doo. Of course not Rooby Rooby ROO!  I would kill strawberry shortcake...  I would muzzle her high pitched squeals and squeeze her like a grape until all of her cartoon stuffing came out.  Then I would eat her.


    Do you wipe front to back or back to front. neither.. I use a bedet and a hair dryer

    Can you put a video up of duke bawling at the thought of a catheter? I think that would go over reallly well. I will definitely use the pain and suffering inflicted upon me due to Dukes upcoming surgery as extreme blog fodder.  I will try to get pics of the catheter.

    Why are you so competitive with me? It's a lost cause you know. Just sayin' oh wait I mean Just
    signing" since Im mute and all I am no longer threatened by you after meeting you IRL and realizing you are a total fake without a keyboard to hide behind. I will be bringing a TTY machine to Vegas so we can try to have some real fun.  I hope it has spell check or I may have to bring my Magic Decoder Ring... I hope the airlines don't charge me for an extra bag!

    mwah and kisses


    oh wait. . .more. sigh....

    Can I post a collage of all the pictures with your eyes shut? I think your ninja skills would look great in a collage. yes it is true that I have super human reflexes and therefore it is difficult to catch me in a pic with my eyes open.  Sometimes I can't control my superpowers....

    I think the name " chief" is way tooo similar to " supah" so i think im going to formally ask you to take down your blog as you are infringing on fake trademark laws.  Who is threatened by who here.  I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!
    xoxo <---where's your (c) after you xoxo?

HalfAsstic.com said...


    Why do we have to have thresholds in doorways? Sweeping from one room to another would be soooo much easier if I didn't have a MOUNTAIN of dirt, dog hair and debris get caught up under the damn threshold.
    It was something to do with a MAN I'm betting....?
    Knowing how a problem began is half way to finding an answer. Tell me O'CleverOne! It's actually a government conspiracy to help contain all DNA and crime scene evidence.   That's the first place investigators look for clues when they reach the scene of the crime.  I thought everyone knew that.

See how fun that was.. snort.. shutup

...now Im still waiting for enough votes to convince me to sing Supah' fave song all over the interwebz.  Go comment and let me know how much you want me it. 

Why Im so jacked up... It's the people I hang with

 THIS IS A COPY FROM SUPAHMOMMY...

Try to follow along if you dare......  I need to get my Little Orphan Annie Decoder RIng out to decipher her crap.

Just to set it up.. I'm going to a Macaroni Kid conference in October, IN VEGAS... Supah and I will be roomates (Pray for me.. she has BAAAD GAS!)...

We found out Meeko was going to be there at the SAME TIME!...

This is what ensued

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Sometimes a blog - isn't as fun as the behind the scenes making of a blog post.

Consider this a VH! behind the scenes .  All for you.
You.

Are.

Welcome.


xoxo
supah


HOW AN EMAIL CONVO
WORKS IN SUPAH , CHIEF AND MEEKO’S WORLD
Words
have been changed to bring the offensiveness down about 8 notches.  

FIRST
CONVO


Meeko
Fabulous

Meeko
+ Chief + Supah + Vegas = Puffin w/ Bail Money . . .

*
SupahMomMY


or us in a jail cell riggin together our ghetto sunglasses to reach
through the bars and steal sheriff cleetus 's key ring.

REACCCCCH
chief.. REACHHHHHHH
her
arms are long !!  She’s pefect for that job.

i note these things



Supah:
 

OH
MY HOTNESS I HAVE NOT BEEN SO EXCITED TO MEET ANYONE BUT MY WOLF PACK

feel
blessed
bask
in it.


lMFAOOOO

NEXT
CONVO : TO CHIEF
Meeko
Fabulous
Are you really going to be in Vegas in October with Supah? And if so, how
would you feel about meeting me?


Chief
I just realized this was the question to ask me.. lmao


Snort


I am fretarded



Meeko:

I know!  When Puffin told me when we were gonna be in Vegas I just about
pooed myself!!!  :)


CHIEF

We get to meet PUFFIN?


OMG


MEEKO:

Well
. . . Not quite sure how that one is going to work out . . . He's
taking his mom to see Cher for her birthday . . . So I'll be hanging out
with my friend Erik.  I'm sure you'll get to meet him after though!  :)



CHIEF:
 THINKS TO STIR THE POT

Ah
its all good…
Wait til you meet Supah… NOTHING LIKE YOU EXPECT!  She is not funny at all…
total dud!  Seriously, without a keyboard you can barely get her to speak.
(I’m CC’ng her on this… trying to get her all in a tither this morning cuz Im bored)



Supah:


bish
stop
that bus right now
i will kill you through this keyboard
i am sending vibes right now
your neck is feelin itchy huh?
yah
thats ME
BREATHIN
DOWN THE M*tHA F*&^er
HOOow
cool would it be if MIITB could come!!??????
and i'll be sure to bring a muzzle for you
THEN
i can get a word in
M*tHA
F*&^er   LMAO

CHIEF
You
will be too drunk to do sh*t.  Meeks and I are goinna have to lug your
fatass back to the hotel


Supah:

Sorry
friend.
You'll
need to get a trolly cart or dolly - to push BOTH Meeks ... WAIT...
BOTH PUFFINDREW MEEKS AND I back to our hotel.
how
bout one of those rickshaws
you
can bicycle us around as we guffaw and hiccup in the back
your
legs are long
it'll
be all good
lmaooooooooooo


supah


let
me check and see where the fart were staying
now
im definitely going to book - early bird :)

Chief
:
OMG!
 Lets GO TO DICKS!


Think
of the shit we will get there…

supah
She
likes dicks.
so
we need to plan this out
chief
you're
the planner
i
don't even know what day this shIzniz takes place on
that's
why i have chief
just
bring me another one bartendah.
meeks
wants to know where our motel 8 is?

Chief

Red
Rock Spa or something… not by the strip


Google
the shi*





Meeko:
I
think we're more inclined towards staying at the Bally's or Paris.  But
you know us  * POLITICALLY CORRECT WORD FOR GAY FOLK)*(ok, at least me)
are chi-chi like that.  LoL  I think we should just find a prime
location at a slut (yes I said slut) machine where the cocktail
waitresses keep coming by and if all else fails . . . we can go to Fat
Tuesday's at Ceasars!!!


Supah


WAIT,
You're gay?



Chief

OMFG


You win for the day… that is PLUCKing hysterical


Of Course Im gay



MEEKO
You
two are cracking me the f*ck up!!!  LoL!!!  My coworkers just gave me
the oddest look cause I giggled so freakin' hard it made me snort!!!


Chief:
Seriously,


Think
of the blog posts… we may have to write a book.


The
H*mo, The Mormon and the Mute.  If MIITB comes we can add The Gambler


SUPAH
omg
can we all get married in vegas?????
like
ALL OF US!!!?????


TO
the officiant  “ no sir.  not just my fine gay friends.”


the
mormon and me and the  (polictically correct word for gay folk)
and
maybe erik too.. WAIT.. THEReS CHER




calling
out .. " cherrrrr!!!   Wanna get married????

SUPAH:

MUTE??

itchy
neck?
im
aiming next at your f*cking crotch and wishing crabs


MEEKO:
Oh
dang . . . I'm a trinity . . .( polictically correct word for gay folk)
Gambler+Lush!  LoL
-
Show quoted text -


Meeko:

I
am SO bringing the camera!

Supah

trinityyyyyyyyyyy

ahhhhhh
SMOTHER FLUcking laughing so hard


SUPAH:

*
UM
VIDEO PLEASE SO CINNAMON STICK   * CHIEF* CAN
SHUT THE EFF UP ..


i
am not
mute.


i'll
just bring my computer and type it all to you .



CHIEF:





Oh
Lord, Cher is so hot.  I want her aZZ.




Supah
wait..
like..

you
want her aZZ AZZ?
bom
chicka wow wow


i
knew you were  ( politically correct word for gay folk)




and
 meeko just TRY to get one pic of chief with her eyes open


I
DARE YOU.


CHIEF:



I
have quick reflexes.. like a ninja




Meeko:

Cher
is SO bad azz.  She puts on a farking fabulous show!


CHIEF:






Im
lost


Trinity?




MEEKO:
 
Who
does Supah think she is??? Steven Hawking?!


MEEKO:
I'm
a triple threat!  ;)



Supah
steven
hawking
bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hahhaha
*
gets quiet*


you
are going to hell for that one
just
a little faster though
but
i know you don't believe in either


so
..... i dont' know what to threaten then




CHIEF:


Got
it!


Wait
til you meet us… Im bringing at TTY machine for Deb


Meeko


I
was gonna say . . . I'm already going to Hell!  So . . . I might as
well enjoy the voyage there!!!  Buah ha ha!!!


CHIEF:



You
don’t believe in hell?


You’ve
never been to Wyoming then


CHIEF

And
I can marry everyone..  SOME Mormons
believe in that shiznit you know?  The more the merrier.




Supah

ohhhhh
FARKING aaaaaa!!


meeky
baby yer goinna be my sister wife!




Do
you think they have enough Elvis costumes for all of us?

And I want to be wife 1 please.  I wanna boss
Meeko around.