Conversations with Who?

SO I have a confession to make...  Booger has requested a nickname change.

sigh...

We have called him Booger since infancy...  but he is 9 now and Duke has started a new nickname that he would like implemented immediately.

CURLY

The problem is.. I dont have time to update his button..

so for now...

Conversations with Booger.... where he is really called CURLY... because he buzzes his hair.. or whatever is going through Dukes head when he comes up with these names.


So now.. with that disclosure out of the way, the setup for this convo is this:

Curly/Booger gets ill at school so sadly (insert sarcasm here), I get to leave work early to take him to the doc.  Supah texts me as we are leaving and I inform her that I can not text and drive or Oprah will kick my ass.  I tease her and tell her that Booger/Curly would be happy to keep her company via text while we drive to the doc.

Thinking she would politely decline.

But of course she didn't... and this is what was said..

a Conversation with Booger and Supahmommy-on a blackberry

Supah: curly.. whats going on...why r u sick.. this is not good.

Curly: I have sore throat

Supah: its the toffee..tooooo much toffeeee..i know the truth!lol

Curly: My mom and dad hog it down before I can get to it =D

Supah: dont fault them..they are just super sad i dont live there near to u guys...so they cope by eating toffee in large amounts.  Make sure u play it up real good...the sick stuff...milk.it...make mom rent u a video game or movie..then insist on taco bell..

Curly: Maybe I don't get enuff toffee

Supah: true dat....its all their fault...lord knows toffee wards off sickness like they lie and say apples do....duke and chief caused ur sickness..let the truth be known

Curly: Your even funnier than my mom.and I will have them BUY me a video game!

Curly: At dr. Now... Talk to you later SUpah

Supah: pshhhht..no need 4 dr..weve already diagnosed u. xxoxo..and make sure u tell ur mom..im funnier...im smurter to..i mean smarter

Curly: She said she is way better looking though

So I read through the text after the Dr. and was giggling when Curly said... "You know, Supah is doing a really good job holding back on her foul language... I'm proud of her."

LMAO!

I was actually most impressed with the lack of texting errors.. she must have worked REAL hard or used her decoder ring so that Curly would be able to decipher her terrible texting grammar.

Try not to smile.. I dare ya

Why I Go to Work Each Day

As many of you know, I work at a K-9 charter school I helped start 6 years ago...

I left a lucrative hair business from a home salon to continue to see my dream of a quality education realized for my kids.  I work there now and have for 5 years making crappy wages with increasing budget cuts that affect my benefits, hours, paycheck, workload.

Why would I do this when I could make so much more and set my own hours doing hair, Macaroni Kid and other online ventures I have turned down time after time...?






This is why....

1st grade assignment, first day of school:

Draw a picture of someone in the school who helps us...

or some bull shizzz like that..

The cutest little punkin (Aubrianna) draws this: <----I have added my notes throughout to help you get the feel of my office.  Not that she didnt do a smash up job of depicting it right down to the....



WTHELL is that hanging in the background?

Lets have fun and see if you can guess what it is back there?<---no it AINT DUKE!  That would be the obvious choice DUH!

(Hint... the green squares are ALLLL BOOKS... and she did a fairly good job of drawing to scale as if she was lookin through the door.)


Co-Workers and parents are not eligible and if you ruin it for the rest of them I will pee in yours or your childs lunchbox next week when it is least expected.

Wedding Tag: I must be damned bored to work this hard on a post.

I am bored, I read M-Cat's post today (rare that I get to read anyones blogs nowadays<-is that a word?

She played this wedding thingie or tag crap or whatever, so I thought I would too.


1. Where did you and your husband meet? at the carwash... he saw me in a lowcut top with my DD's washing my car (that I had just purchased), he waltzed stumbled over and handed me his business card and told me to call him.  I scoffed at it (he was 11 years older than i was) and stuffed it in the jockey box until 2 weeks later when he called me at work and asked me out....and the rest is history.  (THERE IS A TON MORE TO THIS STORY THAT WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER TIME... MAYBE OUR ANNIVERSARY NEXT MONTH)
 
2. How long before you kissed? ummm... 1st date (shut up bishes.. yer just jealous)

3. Who kissed who first? uh... he kissed me on the cheek and I went in for the kill.

4. How long from the time you met until you were engaged? (ahem... this is turning into a bit of an embarrassing post)  We were engaged approximately 5 weeks after we met... 3 weeks after our first date

5. How did he propose? took me back to where we had our first date... (3 weeks before haha) and handed me the ring and said "now can you move in with me?" such a romantic... sigh

6. Did he pick out the ring or did you? We both did, sorta

7. Do you still like the ring? Yes, I love it although I don't wear it.. GASP!  DONT JUDGE - I hate jewelry and a stone fell out a few years ago and I have yet to replace it.<---Im a tight ass and Duke doesn't wear his either.... I'm not much into symbolism and mushy crap.

8. Where was your wedding and reception? In a family members beautiful back yard.. it was a combined wedding and reception.  Duke wanted so bad to just elope. So we compromised and had a BBQ.  We paid for most of it ourselves so nothing fancy schmancy.  Besides, can you really picture me in high dollar digs with lots of rules and etiquette?  Pshaw!

9. How many bridesmaids did you have and who was your maid of honor? My best friend stood next to me.. I guess she was a bridesmaid

10. What color were your bridesmaid dresses? I think she wore a navy blue dress LMAO.  I told her to just wear something that wasn't slutty.

11. What was your bouquet made of? A mixture of stuff.  Here's a pic.

12. Who gave you away? No one.

13. Did you cry during your wedding? Heck no!  Why would you cry?  Seriously women are silly... snort!

14. What style was your dress? I have no idea.  Is there a name for this style?  I just wanted simple and understated (and cheap since I had to pay for it)

Watcha lookin at there duke?

15. Was your wedding kiss sweet or sexy? short and sweet as Im not one for public (or private) displays of affection

16. Who caught your bouquet? I have no idea... I think this "dumbass" stole it BWAHAHAHHAHAHA!

17. What flavor was your cake? I would imagine chocolate but I have no clue.  My aunt made it and it was beautiful though.  Fresh flowers like the bouquet.. simple and understated (do you get the theme so far?)

18. Did you smash the cake onto each other's faces or feed it to each other nicely? I was so nice and Duke smashed it into my face and ruined my lipstick.  I think I punched him in the nuts.

19. What was "your song" that you danced to at your wedding? uh... no dancing, that requires touching. 

20. What did you serve your guests to eat? BBQ chicken... salads and other regular wedding crap.

21. What did your friends do to decorate your car? Nothing.  at least I don't remember if they did.

22. What was your favorite wedding gift? Electric knife from my old obnoxious boss.  After 17 years it still works like a charm.

23. What was the worst wedding gift you got? Dukes work buddy gave us a wooden egg that his wife handpainted.  WTF?! I wish I still had it to take a pic and show you.  It was worse than Jenn's homemade crafts... snort
24. Where did you go on your honeymoon? We drove from our home in Salt Lake, up to Seattle and then over to the coast and down the Pacific Coast Highway staying in Bed and Breakfasts for 10 days. My period Started 4 days in.... lmao... I know TMI but it was on Dukes Birthday too! Classic!
25. Looking back, is there anything you would have changed about your wedding? Nope.  NOT ONE THING!  Except the MOTHER NATURE call on the honeymoon and my mom was pretty cranky and uptight the day of that it wasn't an LDS Temple wedding.  ( We took care of that last year.. after 16 years of marriage though.  I'm not one to rush into eternity I suppose ~wink)

I say don't look back and regret much in your past.  It does you no good and the past is what makes you who you are right now.  Hopefully you are happy with who that is and don't want to change everything anyway.


Tag, yer it.... specially my wolf pack

TO MY SISTER LINDSEY:

YOURS IS IN THE MAIL.. BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

Why I should never leave the boys home alone

I thought week 5 of the knee replacement recovery would be better than week one.

• Duke is making it to the bathroom without crutches
• No more oxycontin<---mood swings, stomach problem, etc... gone
• No more nights listening to him writhe in pain as he tries to live with the after effects of his bones being ground down and his ligaments and nerves stretched.

But it seems I was wrong, this stage is worse.

He is bored.

• Anxious about getting back to work.
• Sick of being home with the kids 24/7.
• AND to top it all off.  He has the brain of a 14 year old.

This means I have 2 -14 year olds and a nine year old male to try to raise.

Case in point:

He calls me at work and exclaims that he is so excited to BE WALKING AROUND WITHOUT HIS CANE!  I feel bad he wanted me to be excited for him, but instead I reminded him that the Dr.s and P/T have warned him that he should not walk without an aid until he has stopped limping.  Forcing it may cause damage in other areas and make the joint heal incorrectly.

Duke gets pissed at me and hangs up.

Whatever

I call later and ask why it sounds like he is outside.

He informs me that he is taking his MOUNTAIN BIKE OUT FOR A SPIN!

What a moron.

Medical Conversations with Duke

I'm at work... leaving the dumbasses to fend for themselves.

Ring... Ring... Ring...

Duke "Hi Chief"

Chief  "Hey, whats going on at home?"

Duke "My knee hurts REAL bad today Chief!"

Chief "Have you taken the ibuprofen?"

Duke "Is that the orange pills, or the brown pills?"

I swear Im gonna get him one of those pill organizers old people use

sigh..,"Orange, Duke... ORANGE!"

Duke "That's the big Costco jug, right?   I can't find them."

Chief  "That's why your knee hurts. Listen, I gotta get back to work, don't forget Boog has an orthodontist appointment today....."

Duke interrupts..."I KNOW, YOU'VE REMINDED ME 50 TIMES THIS WEEK!  3:00!!!!  IM NOT STUPID!"

Chief  "uh huh... ok.. talk to you later"

4:00... I call to see how the appointment went.  Boog answers the phone.

Boog matter of factly "Chief!  Duke forgot the appointment!"

Chief... "PUT YOUR DAD ON THE PHONE!"

pause...

Boog... "DAD says no way.. he doesnt want to talk to you, I think he is scared as a little girl...."

Chief "Tell him he is an idiot"

Boog "I already did"

Chief "Good Boy"

20 minutes later...


ring... ring.. ring...<---this goes on ALLLL day people.  constant phone calls.

Duke "Uh Chief... yeah.. sorry bout that appt...."

Chief  "uh huh"

Duke "I found the ibuprofen though.. guess where?"

silence

Duke "The Refrigerator... I KNOW it was Bud who put it in there!  I didn't do it!"

I hear Bud screaming at him as I hang up the phone.

What did I do to deserve this? Its time for SOMEONE to go back to work!

Chief's bawlin! Im so embarrassed!

Perspective

Soldiers Homecoming - Watch more Funny  Videos

C'mon... dont scroll down here.

Take 5 minutes and gain perspective.  I know Im exhausted, anemic, and a bawl baby but even this ornery ass couldn't help but cry through this one.

The dog, the kids... how can you not be proud to be American and love our troops!

Bring Your "Baby" to Work Day

So I got the "Doe" eyes this morning when I tried to leave for work.  NO not from the boys... they are glad to see me leave <---and I am grateful to get the hell outta Dodge.. believe me.

No,  Maggie gave me the "LOOK".

It melted my icy heart...

So I brought her in to help me get the mounds of work done that I get this time of year.

I tried to make a bed for her on the floor.  She was insulted.

So I brought in a chair from one of the other offices.

She just isn't going to put up with any of it.

Until I clear a spot on my desk for her to plant her spoiled ass on.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea....

Wait until Booger sees that I am letting her use his Snuggie Shawna made for him.  snort....

Collision!

I've had the craziest couple of days where my URL world has collided with my IRL world.  It has put the whole blogging thing in perspective for me a bit.  We aren't as anonymous as we think y'all!

Situation 1 :

I am sitting waiting for a concert to start, I'm surfing FB on my Blackberry and I see one of my "faves" has a new post up so I decide to look around a bit to kill time.  I click to go check it out and my BB asks me "would you like to call XXXX?"

I'm like.. snort... how the hell does my BB know her phone #?  Then I think to myself... HOLY CRAP!  My BB has her phone #!!!

So I decide to send her a text.

GUESS WHOOOOOOOOO?

LMAO

I think she pooped in her panties.  Then she sent me porn.

I'm going to give her 3AM wakeup calls periodically until she finally changes her number.

Situation 2 :

I'm suffering through a night with the family at the local Incredible Pizza Company on a crazy busy Saturday night when I hear a whispered voice behind me:

"Hey I know you"

I turn around and swear its a parent from my school so I say HI!  HOW ARE YOU? <---please tell me you didnt bring your bratty kid over here to say hi.

This hot lady with a cute baby says.. "You don't know me."

I'm like.. "Sure I do"

She says.. no... "You are Chief"

OMWORD!  How does this mom from school know I have a blog?  I'm so careful to keep it on the down low!

Im sure this new friend saw the fear in my eyes as she explained that she was looking at Bud and knew she knew him from somewhere... then she saw the rest of us and was positive it had to be the crazy lady who blogs at Hiding From the Kids...

I was floored.  Bud was dumbfounded.  Greg was oblivious<---on codeine. 

Someone picked me out of a crowd...  totally crazy!  LMAO

I would totally "out" her but I forgot to ask her permission so I will let her out herself in comments if she chooses.  Otherwise just know that my two worlds collided this week and there is one more person who knows that my ass is as huge as I say it is.  I'm pretty sure she couldn't get her eyes off my ass midget.

Own It, Work It, Love It

I have been challenged...

normally I don't give a rats when someone challenges me... If I want to do it, I will.. if not.. I won't.

I dont' sit well with obligations.. they make me burst a hemorrhoid

But I read the post over at THINK Tank Momma's and Daffy's at Batcrap Crazy's place and decided I want to do this little doo dad Adrienzgirl has going on over there today.

Read if you'd like, if you don't, whatev.  NO obligations here.

So The deal-ee-O is called Own It, Work It, Love It or some shiz like that.

I need to name 15 things that I love:

15. That I get to go back to work tomorrow for 9 hours.  Its' been to close of quarters around here with Duke moping around, the kids getting antsy, me sitting on my ass so long that I add to my collection of hemorrhoids.

14. I love that I only choose to surround myself with good people.  Whiners, bunsholes, grudgeholders, hypocrites and liars make me sick.  I love that I have learned to eliminate the crapholes and stop pretending I like people I don't just to be nice.

13. I love being a Macaroni Kid Publishing Mom.  I love the extra income, the camaraderie, the sense of community and creativity.  LOVE it!  If you want to know more, just let me know!

12. I love my kids school.  I love that they are getting a quality education, I love school uniforms, and the classical curriculum they are learning about.  This is the single best thing I have ever done for my kids AND I'M SO READY FOR IT TO START BACK UP!

11. Im glad there is only 3 more weeks until I don't have to listen to Guitar Hero 24/7.  Listening to Duke sing the Gambler is getting old real fast.

10. I love Maggie.  She is my BFF.

9.  I love my Wolf Pack.

10. I love my 'puter...

9. I love Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook. Laurie got me hooked.. now my kids haven't eaten and my toilets haven't been cleaned for 4 weeks.<----like I can truly blame the game for this

8. I love Ozycontin.  I know this is a bad thing to post and I will totally get the druggies on google search but I LOVE OXYCONTIN because it makes Duke go nighty nite.

7. I love my Blackberry... and it loves me.  It talks to me at night when everyone else is sleeping and never asks to be cuddled.  It also never cries out that it has to pee and can't make it to the bathroom in time.

6. I love bedtime.  I love when it's the kids bedtime and I love when it is my bedtime.  I wish it was always bedtime.

7. I love to be right.  I am nearly always right so I am happy a lot of the time.

6. I love potatoes.  Fried, boiled, mashed, sliced, sauteed, julienned, stewed, smashed....

5. I love Toothsoap.. I love that my kids love Toothsoap.  I love the company and what it stands for and what it does for others.

4. I love the people in my church that teach my kids and the example they are for them.  Bud went on a "Pioneer Trek" last week where the youth are taught to appreciate the sacrifices of the Mormon Pioneers who settled the land where we live.  The youth leaders are amazing in my neighborhood and I am grateful for where I live.  More to come about Trek in a later post.

That's Bud in the middle with two of his leaders.

3. I love my kids. I love that they have polar opposite personalities that I can make fun of.

2. I love that Booger is cynical like me and Bud is happy go lucky and kind like his Dad.  I love that they are honor role students but still dumbasses so I have something to blog about.

1. I love Duke.  He is a great dad who has raised loving kids despite me trying to ruin them.  I love that he cooks, listens to me bitch about stupid people, has a great job that supports our family so I don't have to.

Phew... that was alot of love for me.. I had to stop periodically so as not to become physically ill.