What have I been doing for 14 years?

Always a moms payday to be with your kids as they venture out into the world exploring and experiencing new things.


Tonight was one of those paydays when Bud asked me if I could replace his shoelaces in his school shoes for him.

 this was my reply:

 Hell no, son... you can do that shizz on your own!

Bud: But I don't know how?

GASP! WHAT THE...?!?

I think I heard the earth shake which leads me to ask this...

Where have I gone wrong that my 14 year old does not know how to change his own shoelaces?

I am not an enabler.  I expect my kids to do things for themselves mostly because I want them not to turn out like their dad :)<---bless his heart... His mom totally coddled him and the amount of suffering I have endured due to her poor parenting is epic.  In fact, this blog would be nothing without her parenting fails now that I think about it.

So in the end Duke and I sat back and watched him change his shoelaces, determined to somehow change genetics.... It took hours.  First to get the frayed laces out and then to add the new ones in.

What else have I missed teaching him in these 14 years?

I have an idea for a great new invention.... THE "GOODIE" SNAPPER-OFFER

I have a very important subject to discuss with everyone today that really pisses me off... LITERALLY!

I work in a building with nearly 70 employees. Four (4) of which are of the male species.

We all share one staff bathroom...Im totally serious...




You wanna see me go apeshit all over this joint?





Allow me to walk in to said bathroom and see this...

 

 I've decided to have some of these installed...

 Hopefully he won't trip on the chains

If we continue to have problems I may have to resort to inventing something like this....

The fear of having his "goodies" snapped off might make him rethink his absentmindedness

By the way... using my Madlock like detective skills, I've narrowed down the culprit of this atrocity to 1 of 4 people.  (I'm a genius huh?)

I got 'Legit' Street 'Cred'

Bud:  "Hey Chief... the guys told me they thought you were "legit" the other day after you dropped us off at the school"

Chief:  defensive..."What the hell is that supposed to mean!"

Bud: "It's a good thing mom... it means you are 'tight' " obviously disgusted with my lack of 'street cred'

I was too perplexed embarrassed to respond.

So I have to ask y'all out there...

Did he just call me a tight ass?


snort

Conversations with "The boys"

Now that I am raising an adolescent our conversations sometimes look a little bit different than they did a few years back... but I'm pretty "DOPE" so I can keep up with the parenting trends.

So sometimes our convos come through this:

Tonight I had one such unexpected conversation with Bud.

Let me set the stage for y'all

Homework time.. Bud is less than 20 feet from me working on his Algebra.

My BB beeps, notifying me that I have received a text.  Thinking it's either Princess playing with her new android or Shawna<--BFF... I quickly take a look.

I see this:

FROM BUD: "Hey, you wanna compare answers?"

eeerrrrrrrr .... bishhhhh <---stop the bus

Chief: confused ... thinks silently: Huh?  What the hell?  saying out loud "What are you talking about Bud?"

Bud: replies "Whut?"

Chief: "Compare answers to what?"

Bud: " Huh?" obviously getting nervous

Chief: "  BUD, YOU JUST TEXTED ME FROM ACROSS THE ROOM!  WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING?"   I so am not in the mood to deal with dumbasses tonight

Bud: "Oh.... woops.... I thought I was texting Brooklyn"  sweat beads starting to form

Chief: "You are grounded"

suddenly we hear a matter of fact comment from behind the computer in the living room

Booger: "Ha Ha BUSTED!  I can't wait to tell Noah that Bud just got busted cheating.  What an idiot... Who texts his own mom asking to share answers?  He's such an embarrassment to the family."


Duke: "NO kidding!  Where did this kid come from?"

Booger: shaking his head  "Holy crap dad!  Have you heard of DNA?"

sigh...  pray for me

What will you buy today?

 I have had a dream for a long time...

That there is a place where you can walk in and buy whatever you need, 

from a wrench to an ice cream scoop...

a outdoor grill to a a huge assortment of TV Tables

all in one place (can you just imagine it?)

Well, i think I found it.  I was approached by an online vendor by the name of CSN Stores to do a review on my site.  (yes, I get something free... back off) So while it is indeed a review and that in the upcoming weeks I will be posting about my freebie, I promise to make it as entertaining and worth your read as possible.

Duke is fighting to get more tools for him to leave scattered all over the garage floor for me to run over.  I want a new set of sheets for our bed.  I looked at their housewares and maybe I will score a new saucepan...

I guess you will have to just wait and see... ~wink

talk to me about it.. you wont be sorry!